It's mistake after mistake, error after error, and plain laziness. These words sum up my life right now. I have officially hit rock bottom and am in a deep depression, but slowly clawing my way out.

It's not something I want to say and act like I made it out and nothing happend, but a few days ago, I went to jail. I swear, I'm not a bad person, nor did I act like it was nothing, because it was everything I fear. I was beat up, made fun of, and extremely paranoid. I felt like I was going insane. Shaky legs and sick stomach.

So why did I go to jail? I really won't say why for my sake, but it's something I could have controlled better, and now I'm paying for it. I'm out now on signature bond, stating I will go to court, and if not, be arrested and pay a fine. Being out for about a week now, it really made me appreciate what the outside world is and has to offer. Be kind to everyone, because those places are for the ones who don't care anymore. I still care, and will continue to care. But since I acted like a don't care and took things for granted like the sleeze I was acting like, I went to jail.

I may be repeating myself with that, but I feel awful after that experience. I can't even look at a police light flash without having a panic attack and shivering. My girlfriend worries, my family worries, my friends may worry, i'm not sure. But this mistake I made really opened up perspective for me. It made me realize that I haven't been doing everything I can, and that I haven't been giving much thought towards acting on my goals, rather than just "planning." I announce things and they get concepted, but do they ever see the light of day? No, they do not. They are scrapped because of me, and my inability to work on these things. I've never felt more motivated since now to work, and I'm beginning fresh. I'm no developer of games, I'm an artist who wants to make things come to life. From now on, unless I'm doing art for a game, I will not announce games anymore.

Also, take a second, consider yourself and where you are. You are free to do as you wish, don't let it get to your head, but take advantage of what you can and should do with your life.

Sorry for the heartfelt speech, I've just been doing some thinking. More projects on the way.